Friday, April 20, 2012

Friday's Letters

Dear Husband: You are a hilarious specimen. Thanks for making me laugh even when I don't want to. Although, you've got to quit making me laugh so hard. I'm getting to the point in my pregnancy that I'm going to pee a little every time that happens.


Dear Alexa: I am so grateful that you don't have spina bifida. Really, I am. But, you don't have to prove it to me every five seconds. Don't you sleep? Is this an omen of what's to come? Good heavens... P.S. I'm sorry that we don't have any pants for you yet. I promise we'll get some eventually.


Dear Neighbors: If I wasn't already pregnant, your children would be the ultimate birth control for me. Do they HAVE to stomp up the stairs with as much force as a hundred tiny nuclear bombs? I mean, really. Don't worry, though. Payback will be sweet when I prop my screaming baby up next to the wall at all hours of the night. Hee hee.


Dear Body: Let's get this straightened out asap. You sleep at NIGHT. In the morning, you wake up. It's not okay to reverse these. I have things to do, darn it, and if I sleep all day I won't get any of it done. Oh, and another thing... Stop making my butt tingle for no apparent reason. It's weird.


Dear Dishwasher & Garbage Disposal: I love you.


Dear Washer & Dryer: I'm apathetic towards you. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I don't have to pay to use you anymore, but... I still don't like you. Please learn to fold the laundry when you're done with it.



Love and Kittens,
Michelle

3 comments:

  1. I thought you guys were renting a house??

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    Replies
    1. It's a town home. So they're connected on the sides. Our neighbors are RIDICULOUSLY loud. Or fat. I can't quite tell.

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  2. The Dear Neighbors letter made me laugh so hard!! Maybe then they will understand how loud their children are.

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