Saturday, March 24, 2012

Sudden Realizations

I realized something yesterday.
I was out shopping killing time in Minneapolis
and it hit me.
I'm incredibly uncomfortable being in public
as a pregnant woman.

There are some women who claim,
"I've never felt more beautiful." 
I wish I felt that way.
Honestly, I hate being pregnant.
 I hate it.
I know that it's a "beautiful process" and whatever.
And I know that to have my baby here later
I have to go through pregnancy now.
But, so far, I'm hating every second of this.

I feel shallow
and ungrateful.
I should be happy that I am experiencing this.
But I don't.
I was so health conscious pre-pregnancy
that I feel like a planet now.
I'm depressed because my fat pants don't fit.
I have no energy compared to what I used to have.
I haven't taken any pictures of my bump
because taking pictures makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like every other pregnant woman in the universe is cuter than I am.
Does every woman go through this?
Is this like the five stages of grief?
Because, so far, I'm really struggling with acceptance.

Is it terrible of me to hate my pregnancy?
Don't get me wrong, I love my child.
I'm just not one of those women who loooooves being pregnant.

I don't like who I am when I'm pregnant.
I don't like flying off the handle at stupid things.
I don't like feeling useless.
I am excited for Alexa to get here.
I just wish that the stork thing was real.


  1. Ugh... I never loved actually being pregnant. And I certainly do not feel cute. I feel like I'm as big as a house. But, I will say sometimes I missed it... especially when Liam wanted to eat every hour for the first two months... lol :) As soon as they hand you Alexa the memories of everything uncomfortable and not so fun will fade. This last trimester might drag on and on... try to do something fun every week to distract yourself. And... sleep now or forever hold your peace :)

  2. This is a tough one but know that you are way harder on yourself than you should be! Try to think positively... your daughters personality and demeanor begins with what she feels in the womb ... I really believe that!

  3. I was not a happy pregnant mama either... It's okay to have these feelings!! Don't worry, your baby girl will be here in no time!!


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