To bring the world His truth...

Tonight, I am in charge of the lesson for the Family Home Evening that Nick and I do on a weekly basis. Normally, we would hold it on Tuesday nights. But, because he was out of town that day, we are holding it tonight.

In preparing my lesson on Lehi's Dream, I was able to read a really great talk given by Boyd K. Packer. He spoke of his days as a youth in the military. He spoke of how other scoffed at him because of his beliefs and standards. That was in the early 1950's! He knows how different things are now, and how filthy life has become.

Just yesterday, a woman came into MVC (my job) and was speaking offhandedly to another customer. The man she was speaking to asked,

                      "How's married life?"

To that she responded,

                       

                      "Oh, about the same."

WHAT?!!?!!?! Why is that okay? Why has society become so diluded that it is now normal for couples to live together prior to marriage? Why is it okay for couples to live together when marriage hasn't even been discussed? Why is pre-marital sex recreational? Something is wrong here.

"The greatest trick Satan ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist."

Que mi corazon esta colgando en tus manos...

I am such a slacker when it comes to blogging. Life got the better of me, and I completely forgot about this little slice of relief. If I can't physically journal, at least I can blog. I mean, come ON.

Life is moving pretty fast for me, now. I work nearly full time now. (I say "nearly" because I work in the ballpark of 39 hours a week.) I also have the world's greatest boyfriend. We are, in essence, engaged to be engaged. It's all just a matter of time.

Let me get you up to date:

Nick came home from his mission to Mexico in November of last year. We began dating officially in December, and have progressed quickly in our relationship. He knows more about me than anyone ever has, and I trust him completely. He is patient and incredibly loving. I don't deserve him at all.

Dating Nick has also increased my spirituality and my desire to serve. We are planning on going to Mexico for our honeymoon, and this is VERY exciting for him. He finds ways to continue living his mission every day. He gives out pass along cards and refers people to the missionaries regularly. He is truly an inspiration to me. I really admire him.

I find myself with a prayer in my heart regularly because of my desire to improve. Being with Nick has started a fire within me that is greater than anything I have ever experienced. I want everyone I know to feel this happiness. I want to share my testimony, and change their lives. But, to do that, they have to open their hearts and listen to the Spirit.

I Know that my Redeemer Lives

It's sad to come to the realization that you take your life for granted. It seems that a serious trial has to happen for me to truly appreciate what I have in my life. One of the main things that I have learned this year: Life is too short to be a series of apologies.

Today was fasting testimony meeting, and a lot of great ones were shared. Why didn't I share mine? I just sat there, knowing exactly what I could say, but saying nothing. Honestly, I felt like I needed to give someone else a chance who hadn't borne theirs in a while. While I love giving my testimony, I certainly don't want to take that chance away from someone else who feels like this Sunday will be The One. But, regardless, I can bare it here. So, listen up.

I have a testimony of the Restored Gospel. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and I will declare it all of my life because it is true. The Church has saved my life in more ways than I can count, and for that, I have been made stronger.
The Book of Mormon is the Word of God. It is another Testament of His Son, Jesus Christ. It teaches truth, love, and instruction for how to improve ourselves, and how to return to His presence. He did not send us here to fail.
There is a Prophet on the earth today. He is the Lord's mouthpiece, and helps each of us to be instruments in the Lord's hands. Revelations are still very much a part of our lives. I know that Joseph Smith, through revelation, restored the Gospel in its fullness. I love that man with more strength than I knew I could possess.
I know that God lives. I know that He loves us. He knows each of us by our innermost desires and thoughts. We are His children. I know that, through the Plan of Happiness we can become exalted even as He is. He is my Savior. He is my source of happiness. He is my life. 

I know who I am. He knows who I can become. What greater joy can we have than to achieve His will?

Anarchy rules, jumbo shrimp, and other oxymorons...

Time can be so vicious. Time can separate friendships, creating a wedge between them until, suddenly, it's too late.

Is there a way to slow things down or maybe even rewind?

It's times like these when I wonder what genius said, "Only time will tell." NO. That is a stupid saying. Why would you postpone asking a question when there is a chance that time's ugliness will never let you unravel the answer? I understand the importance of thinking long-term in some cases. But, life is better lived today. 

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow, a mystery. But, today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

It's so very discouraging to not see a glimpse of happiness while trudging through some of life's bitterness. The Lord has a Plan for each of us. I know that. There are just times when I look around and can't see the significance of disappointment after disappointment. Those are the times when I think to myself, "I see no blessings in this. This just sucks." It's times like that when I need to realize that I apparently needed to be humbled. A lot.

Moral of the story: Live life now. Grab onto it with both hands and never let go. Happiness is often found amidst all the junk life dishes out.

...and I'm on my knees looking for the answer

College is a dangerous game if not played correctly. Life in general is even worse. There always needs to be that forward motion. Unfortunately, there is no "standing still." You're either moving forward, or you're sliding back.

I'm trying so hard to find something to motivate me for more than a few weeks, but nothing seems to last. I go to college because I know that getting an education is important. But, in reality, all I really want to be is a mother. But, I suppose I need to take a step back and look at the Big Picture. Sometimes children need home schooling. If college isn't a success for me, how will I teach my kids? How can I help them with homework? How can I do anything at all for them? Maybe there's my motivation. I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing this because I love my future children enough to learn now.

I've been feeling so adventurous lately. I just want to go out and live the life I missed out on. I want to be able to look back on my early years when I'm old and have these fantastic stories to tell my posterity. So far, I don't have much. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret anything. I just want to achieve more. I want to be more.

Lately I'm starting to feel more fulfilled, however. I have amazing friends who lift me up and help to bring me closer to my Savior. Sure, we goof off, but we also have some pretty awesome discussions about a lot of important things. I love them very much.

I also have a family who applauds and praises me for the good decisions I make, while allowing me to learn from the wrong ones. We have never been super close like other families I know, but we work well together. I know that I chose them in the pre-existence for a reason.

I have so many opportunities ahead of me, and I have the power to chose who I am and who I will become. Sometimes that thought is incredibly overwhelming, but most of the time it brings me such peace. It is incredibly liberating to sit back and discover for yourself the power you have in your own life.

I love my life and the people in it. Everyone I've ever met thus far has touched my spirit in some way. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for helping to mold my life.

There is more

I feel like my posts are so very redundant. But, seriously, life is SO. AWESOME.

I am so incredibly grateful for so many things. Honestly, there's not enough time in the world for me to list them all. But there is one that I will elaborate on - my divorce.

I recently had this conversation with a friend of mine, but it was important enough that I feel the need to share it with my readers.

Despite the fact that a divorce is a horrible thing to go through, and it broke me completely, I don't regret the choices I made leading up to my marriage or the marriage itself. If I could go back and do it over, knowing what I know, I would still marry him. That experience allowed me to see deeper into myself. It allowed me to change and mold myself into someone I could be happy with if I were to never marry again. Now, for the first time in my life, I can honestly say that I like who I am, and the direction that I'm going.

Because I chose to look forward instead of back, I was able to see a bigger picture for myself. I was able to see who I could be, and who I never wanted to become.

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow - a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."