Maternity Mondays: 38 Weeks

Oh. Mah. Gah. 38 Weeks? Sometimes, I feel like this has been one speedy nine months. Other times...

I feel bad for all those people who I encounter throughout the day. I have to constantly bite my tongue because I'm just so tired of answering the same questions over and over and over. So, instead of answering, "Oh! When is your baby due?" with "WHAT'S IT TO YOU, LADY!?!" I take a breath, smile, and say, "Oh, they keep telling me it's July 7th." Then, I share the fakest laugh in the world with whoever is talking to me, and quickly walk away from them before they can ask anything else. Although, I'll admit, I did answer that question once with, "When's my baby due? I'm not really sure I remember. It's hard to remember anything after the abduction." The look they gave me was absolutely priceless. Especially after I threw in my own rendition of Jenna Marbles' "Go Away Face".

My kid is going to be so messed up.

Updates: According to Dr. Manpants, if I haven't squeezed out this baby by July 13th, they're going to induce me. That's still, like, *counts in head* 18 days away! Ugh. I've never been so impatient for a single event in my entire LIFE. 

"Funny" Stories: There's a park about a quarter mile away from our house with a Coke machine (okay, it's Pepsi, but who cares?) in front of one of the gazebos. On Saturday, I was seriously craving a Coke. Like, I'd have poked someone in the eye just so I could steal their soda. Anyway, I waddled down to the park with about a hundred quarters in my pocket only to find that the ENTIRE MACHINE was sold out. Seriously? To add insult to injury, there was some shindig going on inside that stupid gazebo and about forty people witnessed me jingling up to the machine, sighing in defeat, turning around and jingling back home. Uncool, man. That whole experience still pisses me off when I think about it. I think I actually jabbed the keyboard a bit too hard while I wrote it out for you.

Memorable Quotes: 

*Nick walks into the living room to find me crying*

Nick: "Babe, what's wrong?"

Me: "I'm still pregnant."

News: I have a Facebook page now! There's a little clicky link under my picture over ---> there. If you feel so inclined, please take a few seconds to go and "Like" it! :)

Happy Monday!

P.S. I recently received this lovely little award for new bloggers from It's Me Again.........Pamela. Isn't that nice? Why don't y'all go on over and say hello to her? Tell her I sent ya.