Friday, June 15, 2012

Friday's Letters

Dear Nick: Thanks so much for being an amazing and supportive husband. I would be such a mess without you. Also, thanks for getting up in the middle of the night because I was "screaming" about that hideous leg cramp and stretching it out for me. You're the best. Srsly.

Dear Alexa: You turned! All by yourself! I'm so happy and grateful that you figured that out even though it made me want to die while you were doing it. Thanks for bringing me one step farther from needing a C-Section! My baby is a genius.

Dear "Doctor Dillhole": Even though I think you're a huge jerk, thanks for at least taking the time to explain things to my husband so he didn't punch you in the throat for making me cry. I just have one piece of advice for you: People have feelings and you should treat them that way. It's not wise to treat a pregnant woman like a paycheck and disregard her worries and blow off her symptoms as "being normal" without explaining things further. Thaaaaaanks.

Dear Nose: What is this sorcery? Why are you so wide?! Go back to the way you were! When I smile you spread out all over my face and that's the main reason why I don't smile with my teeth showing anymore.

Dear Commenters: Thanks so much for reading my blog AND commenting on the entries. I read them all and they all make me smile my award-winning, nose-spreading smile. It looks something like this --> (c:

Dear Books Written by Foreign Authors: I enjoy reading you WAY more than books written by Americans. Your slang is hilarious and your wit is immeasurable.


Dear Body: You had better shrink down to your original size when I'm done being pregnant. This whole "larger-than-life" thing is making me crazy and I can hardly take a shower without getting grossed out.

Dear Boobs: That goes for you, too. I had non-existent runner's boobs and I liked it.

Dear One Direction: Wouldja quit having such catchy songs? I feel a bit weird bopping around to a teenage boy band.

Dear Mom: Sorry to call you and burst into tears at random intervals. It's the hormones, I swear. I really don't care that much if I accidentally colored Iron Man purple because the crayon itself looked red. Promise.

Aunie Sauce


  1. you are so cute. that last one to your mom? precious. love you girl :)

    and hahaha runner's boobs. i totally have those :)

  2. new follower here :)
    found you over at the link-up

  3. My family used to go to a doctor that would yell at us!

    Also One Direction is totally in their 20s right?


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