Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Excuse me, but I seem to have misplaced my ankles...

For those of you who have expressed sadness at my hiatus notice, never fear! I said that I wouldn't post AS MUCH. So, here I am to grace you with some snarkiness once again.

Yesterday, Nick's grandfather took us out shopping for some things that we desperately needed. Unfortunately, by the end of the day, my ankles and feet had swollen up so much that it was difficult to even wiggle my toes. You know that scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Violet Beauregarde turns into a giant blueberry? 

You see how she no longer has arms? Well, pretend that her body is my foot, and her arms are my toes. ...Seriously. I could literally push in on my foot with my thumb and stare at a huge pit for about five minutes. Cute, huh? I know. Being pregnant is so glamorous.

On another note, I'm apparently long past the point where people are hesitant to mention pregnancy just in case I'm actually just fat. People have just started coming up to me, grabbing my belly and telling me all about their horrific labor stories and/or offering me "comforting words of wisdom." I'm sorry, but who the heck are you? Why are you touching me? Can I grab your belly, too? No? Jeez. Touchy, touchy.

I've decided that I need to make a shirt like this immediately and wear it whenever I go out in public. I am not joking. Or, I can simply follow Rebeka Kuschmider's snarky advice from her blog, Mom in a Million

If you're looking for other saucy mom blogs, check these lovely ladies out:


Once you're finished laughing your face off, I give you permission to come back and thank me for directing you to the highlight of your day.

You're welcome.

1 comment:

  1. I'm with you on that....I do not like people touching my belly when I am prego.


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