Thursday 13

I'm so glad to be back to a 

routined life.

Erm...

Well, I'm at least glad that I have enough time to blog

and to participate in the Thursday 13.

Seriously, my FAVE link up.

Thanks, Aunie!

ANYwho, this week is a super upbeat and cheery topic. 

I love it!

13 Things People Do That I Love

1. Smile. Seriously. How much brighter would the world be if everyone smiled more? Why are people so grumpy all. the. time?


2. Hold the door open. Nick does this for me all the time! He's such a gentleman. What's weird is when he does it for someone else, and they act genuinely surprised. How sad!


3. Adopt an animal. Now, I'm a dog person, myself. But the kitties need love, too. Sometimes I'll go to the animal shelter just to play with them for a bit. But, then I feel just awful when I can't bring any of them home with me. (However, we're ALLOWED to have puppies in our new home! YAY!) I'm sure they appreciate the playtime, though.


4. Give a compliment to a stranger. I've always felt kind of awkward talking to people I don't know. But when I see that they're wearing an awesome shirt, or their hair looks super cute, I've just gotta tell them. I mean, people give me compliments, too! (Although nobody's actually said, "You're glowing" yet. Haha.)


5. Offer hugs. I remember when I was living in California. I seriously had, like, two friends. When my divorce was made public and I was packing up my life to move back in with my parents, love was FLOODING in. People that I had talked to once were coming up to me and hugging me. Or making me dinner. Or just letting me cry on them. 


6. When someone says, "I appreciate________ that you did." That's what gets me the most. I NEED to feel appreciated. Because of my depression, I often get down on myself and feel like I'm not really contributing anything good to the world. So when Nick or anyone else tells me that I've done something awesome and they approve, I feel like I could fly. Seriously.


7. Just a phone call...  If I'm going through a hard time with something, I love it when people think about me and shoot me a text or call me just to see how I'm doing. It's just so considerate, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.


8. Say "excuse me." Too often, people are so concerned with their own lives, that they neglect to notice that they're being rude. So, it just makes my day when people take notice and say, "Oh, excuse me!" 


9. Comments! I love knowing that people read my blog and enjoy it. It makes me smile.


10. I love when people shovel the snow of their neighbors driveway just because. THAT is an amazing surprise to wake up to the morning after a snowstorm. :)


11. I also love it when those same people get carried away and mow their neighbors lawn because... why not?  


12. Seeing kids share. That's such a cool thing to watch. I remember in school when we would trade parts of our lunch or when your friend would take the heat for something you did because they knew that your mom would just freak out if she ever heard about that stunt you pulled. Kids are awesome.


13. Flowers. Even if it's a dandelion, I love seeing a flower on the table and knowing that Nick was thinking of me at some point in the day. 




What makes YOU happy about others?

Crazy, Beautiful Life

Hi!

I've been a bit MIA haven't I?

I'm sorry.

We FINALLY moved on Friday

to our new home in Glencoe.

We were so excited!

But, with every move

comes the unpleasant task of 

unpacking.

Bleh.

Needless to say...

my back hurts.

A lot.

And we JUST got internet, like,

ten minutes ago.

See how important you are to me?

I'm afraid I don't have any pictures of our new place just yet.

I want to make sure it's set up all pretty

before I go around and show the world.

BUT...

I'm happy to announce that I have FINALLY 

started my nesting process!

YAY!

It was so much fun

to hang her name on the wall.

Afterward, I just sat there.

Staring.

I was trying to imagine her there

in her crib.

I wish I could see her face.

I wish I could even imagine her face.

It seems to bizarre to me that I'm having a baby.

I mean, I can't be 22.

Can I?

Am I REALLY pregnant?

Truly?

Maybe I'm just fat.

No, wait.

My fat just moved.

And why do I have to go to the bathroom all the time?!

I must really be pregnant.

Anyway,

Nick and I love it here.

We love our house.

We love our church.

We love the town.

It's so incredible that we've found this place.

It kind of fell into our lap, really.

A definite slap in the face.

"You need to go here."

I promise I'll post pictures soon!

Happy Tuesday!

An Explanation

I feel like Usher.

And this is my Confessions Part 2.

That last post I wrote...

the one about hating being pregnant?

Let's just ignore that.

I re-read that yesterday and I thought, "Holy cow! This is really negative."

Even Nick told me that my posts have been getting more and more depressed sounding.

My apologies.

I do suffer from clinical depression.

I have for many, many years.

I even took medication for it.

However, the medication that I was taking 

was actually a narcotic. 

Nice.

They didn't tell me that when it was prescribed to me

as a fourteen year old.

They didn't tell me how miserable it would be

to wean myself off of it.

To make a long story short,

it's not a safe drug for pregnancy.

But it's even more dangerous for me to simply

stop taking it.

So it's a slow, painful and drawn-out process

to clean my body.

I mean, after almost nine years of taking this

my body has become addicted to it.

Go figure.

So, needless to say, I have these little sporadic moments of depression

that creep up on me when I'm not expecting it.

Before the medication

I used to hurt myself because of that depression.

I wanted to die.

To fight off those feelings

I would write.

Poetry.

Songs.

Anything.

Now it's become a habit.

I get sad

I write.

Granted, I don't hurt myself anymore.

I don't want to die.

I have too much to live for.

My life is good! 

Why am I depressed?

Pregnancy hormones.

Medication wonkyness.

Lack of sleep.

Take your pick.

Anyway

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm okay.

Really.

I don't hate my baby.

I don't hate myself.

I just vent by writing.

...and eating ice cream.

Sudden Realizations

I realized something yesterday.

I was out shopping killing time in Minneapolis

and it hit me.

I'm incredibly uncomfortable being in public

as a pregnant woman.

There are some women who claim,

"I've never felt more beautiful." 

I wish I felt that way.

Honestly, I hate being pregnant.

 I hate it.

I know that it's a "beautiful process" and whatever.

And I know that to have my baby here later

I have to go through pregnancy now.

But, so far, I'm hating every second of this.

I feel shallow

and ungrateful.

I should be happy that I am experiencing this.

Right?

But I don't.

I was so health conscious pre-pregnancy

that I feel like a planet now.

I'm depressed because my fat pants don't fit.

I have no energy compared to what I used to have.

I haven't taken any pictures of my bump

because taking pictures makes me uncomfortable.

I feel like every other pregnant woman in the universe is cuter than I am.

Does every woman go through this?

Is this like the five stages of grief?

Because, so far, I'm really struggling with acceptance.

Is it terrible of me to hate my pregnancy?

Don't get me wrong, I love my child.

I'm just not one of those women who loooooves being pregnant.

I don't like who I am when I'm pregnant.
I don't like flying off the handle at stupid things.
I don't like feeling useless.
I am excited for Alexa to get here.
I just wish that the stork thing was real.

Thursday 13

This morning I hopped over to aunieSAUCE

to get the topic for this week's Thursday 13.

Alas!

She couldn't think of anything!

Soooooo...

I decided to revisit an older link up between Aunie and Jenna over at The Life of the Wife

and post the Last 13 Things I [whatever].

Yay!

THE LAST THING I...

ATE:

Some yummy MultiGrain Cheerios. :) Seriously the BEST kind of Cheerios available.

BOUGHT:

A maternity t-shirt from Target in Mankato. Why aren't there maternity places in Marshall!?

LAUGHED AT:

This:

MADE:

Those adorable wall letters for my baby's nursery. :)

CRIED ABOUT:

Who knows? I cry about so many stupid things now that I'm pregnant. Half the time I don't even know why I'm crying in the first place. ...My poor husband.

READ:

I read about the actual birthing process. Now I'm looking forward to it even less...

ENVIED:

People who's body looks like this:

DEFINITELY my post-baby goal.

THOUGHT:

Am I even going to have time to work out after this kid gets here? What in the heck am I getting myself into?

CRAVED:

A fruit smoothie. My husband recently bought some Dole frozen fruit from Sam's Club and with a bit of sugar, lemon juice, and strawberry yogurt, I swear it tastes just like Jamba Juice's "Strawberry Surf Rider". [Which just so happens to be my favorite.]

WISHED:

That the tickets to The Hunger Games haven't been sold out yet. Nick called me up about an hour ago and asked if I wanted to go. Um. YES.

LISTENED TO:

I've recently been obsessed with this song. I LOVE it when rock groups incorporate piano into their music. *siiiigh*
[Although the video is a bit cheesy...]

WONDERED:

How long does it take other people to come up with 13 things to write about? I think it takes me way too long sometimes...

FORGOT TO DO:

Definitely forgot where my keys were supposed to go the other day. Where did I put them?

The fridge.

Seriously.

My Time to DIY

So I know that in my little

"About Me" thingy over there -->

it says that I don't DIY. 

And that's normally true.

But, today I got all motherly and I finally started my "nesting process."

Lemme show you.

Yesterday, I purchased these white letters and scrapbook papers from Hobby Lobby in Mankato.

I was kind of hoping to find letters that weren't so

curvy

but, no dice.

Anyways...

I started off by turning the paper AND the letter upside down to trace.

Because my paper choices had lots of black, I figured it would show up easier

on the back.

Plus, I wouldn't have all these stupid pencil marks all over the front.

Voila! After I traced, I had my wonderful mother cut out the letters.

Because I'm not very good horrible with scissors

and can't cut in a straight line to save my life.

Unfortunately I forgot to take pictures of that.

I'm sure you know what cutting looks like, though.

You're smart.

After the paper was cut, I checked to make sure everything was hunky dory.

I mean, it would be pretty rotten to glue it down and THEN find issues.

Now it's time for your handy dandy Mod Podge.

I also bought this at Hobby Lobby. (It was the smaller of the two bottles.)

And my goodness I had forgotten how smelly this stuff was!

Yuck.

Pour yourself a pretty healthy blob onto a lid or plate.

After you've coated your letter with the glue, press the paper onto it and make sure it lies flat.

We don't like bubbles here.

Add another coat of Mod Podge over the paper...

...and flatten out bubbles again using a popsicle stick.

Avoid using your finger. Otherwise, you'll have that bizarre peely stuff going on when it dries.

Set aside, and let your letters air dry for fifteen minutes...

Now your letter will look glossy. Add 2 - 3 more coats. (Wait 15 minutes between coats to make sure they're nice and dry)

I actually added four coats

but that was because I messed up and poured WAY too much on my lid.

Oh well. More shine for me!

Now, I don't have a picture of the finished product.

Sorry.

It's actually still at my mom's drying.

But!

I can show you a picture of what it's supposed to look like...

Cute, huh? 

I'll make sure to take some pictures when the letters are all hung up on the wall of

Alexa's nursery. YAY!

It was a pretty easy project, overall. But it was VERY time consuming. 

That's probably why I'm not a very craft-oriented person.

I have no patience.

If it doesn't look cute immediately... pssshhht. No, thanks.