Friday's Letters

Dear Lovekins: You're so awesomepants for taking care of me last week while I was puking up my guts. Honestly, how many stomachs can I possibly have for all of that to be produced? Regardless, I love you a whole bunch. However, I'm mad at you because when I "got you sick", all you got was a neckache. Boo. I mean, how do you do that? How do I spend four days in the fetal position clutching a bucket, when you get a neckache and are "a little chilly"?

Dear Christmas: I hate you and I love you. I hate you because: You're expensive. You're cold. You're messy. You come bearing fruitcake from everyone I have ever met. You are no longer politially correct. I love you because: You're Christmas.

Dear Grumpkins: You're a silly kid. I love that your personality is showing a lot more now. You're playing games and cracking jokes that only you get, apparently. Heaven forbid we interrupt you. Carry on playing by yourself in your crib. Mommy's gonna go have a nap.

Dear Judgemental Jerkholes: Yes, I'm married. No, I'm not sixteen. Yes, she's mine. Yes, I know who the father is and NO, I was not drunk during conception. Does that answer everything? I mean, really. I know I'm small, but so? I don't pass judgement on you just because your entire shopping cart is full of boxed wine and you smell like feet. We are all God's children. (Said with the utmost Sassy Pantsness.)

Dear Bloggy Friends: I've come to the realization recently that I'm loads funnier while I'm pregnant. That being said, no, I'm not going to run out and get pregnant again any time soon. Not on purpose, anyway. So, for now, you'll just have to put up with some occasional lackluster posts about The Grumpster and my dying social life. Cheers.
 

Friday's Letters

Dear Nick: Thanks so much for being an amazing and supportive husband. I would be such a mess without you. Also, thanks for getting up in the middle of the night because I was "screaming" about that hideous leg cramp and stretching it out for me. You're the best. Srsly.

Dear Alexa: You turned! All by yourself! I'm so happy and grateful that you figured that out even though it made me want to die while you were doing it. Thanks for bringing me one step farther from needing a C-Section! My baby is a genius.

Dear "Doctor Dillhole": Even though I think you're a huge jerk, thanks for at least taking the time to explain things to my husband so he didn't punch you in the throat for making me cry. I just have one piece of advice for you: People have feelings and you should treat them that way. It's not wise to treat a pregnant woman like a paycheck and disregard her worries and blow off her symptoms as "being normal" without explaining things further. Thaaaaaanks.

Dear Nose: What is this sorcery? Why are you so wide?! Go back to the way you were! When I smile you spread out all over my face and that's the main reason why I don't smile with my teeth showing anymore.

Dear Commenters: Thanks so much for reading my blog AND commenting on the entries. I read them all and they all make me smile my award-winning, nose-spreading smile. It looks something like this --> (c:

Dear Books Written by Foreign Authors: I enjoy reading you WAY more than books written by Americans. Your slang is hilarious and your wit is immeasurable.

Dear American Authors: Y U NO FUNNY LIKE IRISH OR BRITISH AUTHORS?

Dear Body: You had better shrink down to your original size when I'm done being pregnant. This whole "larger-than-life" thing is making me crazy and I can hardly take a shower without getting grossed out.

Dear Boobs: That goes for you, too. I had non-existent runner's boobs and I liked it.

Dear One Direction: Wouldja quit having such catchy songs? I feel a bit weird bopping around to a teenage boy band.



Dear Mom: Sorry to call you and burst into tears at random intervals. It's the hormones, I swear. I really don't care that much if I accidentally colored Iron Man purple because the crayon itself looked red. Promise. 

Thursday 13

This week the Thursday Thirteen has toned it down a bit for a more 

thought-provoking list.

Normally I'm a pretty upbeat person, but we all have our secret desires.

We all wish for something more.

And, if you haven't checked out Annelise over at aunieSAUCE, you really ought to. She's one fab writer and cute to boot!

So, without further adieu, here's the list.

13 Things I wish/pray for on a daily basis:


1. For my child to be born healthy. This really goes without saying. I mean, who DOESN'T want the best for their child?


2. To have a better immune system. I realize that pregnancy has kind of stifled my sickness fighters, but come ON. I'm sick pretty much every other week! Can't it be just a little harder for me to catch things?

3. To find a job after we move. I know that it will be tough because of my bump, but we will need the extra income for a few months. I'd even settle for McDonald's. Again.

4. To have energy. So far, my list is pretty selfish. (Apart from number 1...) But this is a biggie for me. I sleep a LOT and I'm still dragging all day. I exercise. I eat right (kind of) and I still can hardly muster up the energy to shower or do the dishes.

5. For my little brother to wise up. He's only 13, but he's so naive. And, not the innocent kind. The "what-the-heck-were-you-thinking" kind. He's pretty sheltered, and I'm afraid that one of these days he's going to get the living snot beat out of him for saying something cocky to someone who's a lot bigger than he is.

6. To fully and completely overcome my depression. I used to hate myself. I used to hurt myself. I still have the scars as a reminder. I'm actually proud of those scars. I never want to get rid of them. They remind me of the darkest point in my life - a point that I never thought I would escape from. I'm proud of those scars because I can look at them now. Because I am alive. I still have a long way to go, but I appreciate how far I've come.


7. To find new ways of earning my husband's love. That man is absolutely, hands down, the most incredible man I've ever met. He is my soul mate and my friend. Some days I look at him and wonder what on God's green earth is wrong with him. How in the world did he end up with me? Sometimes I feel so undeserving of his love. But I know that he sees me. Truly sees me. I know that if I weren't what he needed, he wouldn't be with me - he wouldn't have married me. For that, I am thankful. I want to work every day to show him how much I appreciate him.

8. To stop wrongfully judging others. I know that I'm not alone when I say that I do this. Everyone does it. I find myself out in public thinking, "Holy cow. Look at that NOSE!" or... "It's not even windy. Why does their hair look like that?" Stupid, shallow things. I know I can be better than that. Those people don't deserve it. If I don't want to be judged, who am I to judge others?

9. To forgive my ex-husband. This will be the hardest thing on my list. How can I possibly forgive someone who completely destroyed me? I was numb, cynical and angry for an entire year after he left, while I covered it up with a smile. It was exhausting. Very few people knew the struggles I was facing inside. But, I'm happy now. And I know that if it weren't for him being a spineless (bleep), I would have never had the chance to fall for Nick. I wouldn't have been the kind of person that Nick needed. So, for that, I am grateful. I am, honestly, in my ex's debt.

10. To be a good mother. This is what keeps me up at night. This is what I worry about constantly. What am I doing? Am I even ready for this? Someone is going to be completely and totally dependent on me. I am literally holding her life in my hands. That scares me to death.

11. To prioritize my time. Granted, there are plenty of things I should be doing right now. Blogging is not one of them. I need to stop rationalizing with myself over why I do dumb things. I am my own worst critic. I am the harshest person that I have to be accountable to. Am I afraid of myself?

12. To stop being content. I've learned that when I'm content with where I am - or who I am - I stop trying to be better. I stop learning. I stop progressing. It's a vicious cycle. I'm happy - I'm lazy - I'm depressed - I try harder. Around and around it goes...

13. To just do the dang dishes! It's the chore that I despise. It's icky and smelly and it hurts my wimpy, pregnant back. Suck it up, Michelle. They aren't going to clean themselves.

Friday's Letters

Dear Crankypants at Church: I'm very sorry that I'm not the spitting image of what you expect from a teacher. But, this pregnancy is incredibly difficult for me. I'm sick all the time and I'm trying to wean myself off of a narcotic anti-depressant that I've been addicted to since I was 14 years old. So, I would appreciate it if you would quit judging me.

Dear Sam and Dean Winchester: Why aren't you real?! You would be the coolest people to hang out with!

Dear Cold/Flu/Whateveryouare: You are slowly, but surely, killing me. Please go away asap so that I can remember what it feels like to breathe and/or sit up without passing out. Thaaanks.

Dear Uma Thurman: You gave a bad rep to bloggers everywhere in the movie "Motherhood." Thanks a lot. Now whenever I blog, my husband calls me Uma.

Dear Pregnancy Hormones: Care to share the wealth with my hair? My nails are growing at a superhuman rate, but I don't really care about those.

Dear Nick: I miss you already, and you've been gone for about two hours. What am I going to do with myself for the next three days?! You are an amazing man, and I am so happy that you "saw" me after you  came home from your mission. I cannot imagine my life without you. I love you.

Dear Alexa: Thanks for being strong enough so that daddy can feel you kick. He doesn't think you hate him anymore. Yay! However, could you please stop punching my bladder? Please? It's not very nice.

Dear Readers: If you read my blog, and have a GMail account, why don't you follow? I like knowing that I have an audience. :)

Friday's Letters

Another day, another link up.

This one comes from Adventures of Newlyweds and is known as 

Friday's Letters.

Dear Husband: I hope you know how crazy I am about you, and how grateful I am to have you in my life.You really and truly are the best man on this planet. Thank you for being the father of my child. I'm sorry that I cry so much at stupid things. I promise that I won't be like this forever. It's just that we got pregnant the DAY AFTER our wedding. Don't worry. I'll show you.

Dear Mr. Next Door: You are creepy, and your music is way too loud. Please stop having parties EVERY Friday night. I'm glad we're moving soon.

Dear Alexa: I haven't met you yet, but you already have me wrapped around your little finger. I was so surprised to find that you were coming, but I wouldn't change it for the world. But, please be nice to mommy. Pregnancy is hard.

Dear Ex-Husband: Thank you for letting me go. Now I finally know what it feels like to have someone actually love me.

Dear Amanda Seyfried: Your hair is gorgeous. Please teach me your ways.

Dear Foul-Mouthed People: Just stop. You sound unintelligent.